Lost for words in English meetings? How to stay calm and in control.

#1. Why do I suddenly forget simple words in meetings?

If you’re asking this question, you’re probably very focused on your language and expressions during meetings.   

What is it like in your native language? 

Maybe you are more focused on the topic of the meetings than on how you express yourself in your native language. Whereas in English it is the other way around. And this can create blockages that make you forget even the simplest word. 

This constant worry about your language when you speak English can create blockages that make you forget even the simplest words in English.

Do you know the way it feels when you’re trying to think of a word you forgot? Because thinking too hard to remember a word can backfire. The energy in your brain is stuck at one point, and you can’t seem to think anymore. 

And in your native language? How often does the word come to mind when you focus really hard? Let me guess: hardly ever? 

So remember this:

In English, when you search too hard for a word, you often get stuck.

The more pressure you create, the less accessible it becomes. When you move on and do something else, suddenly the word appears out of nowhere. Now your brain is relaxed, and energy can flow. Because cognitive load increases under pressure.

The same happens in meetings. As long as you are not too focused on the language itself, energy can flow in your brain, and words come to mind. You are flexible with your word choice. 

So when you forget a word in English, don’t focus on it too much. 
Try this instead:

• Try to describe a word when it is gone during a meeting. 
• Or use synonyms. 

Whatever is easier for you and remains your flexibility.

How can you gain more confidence in Business English? Find out here.

#2. My English is good – why does it disappear under pressure?

I used to recognise the same reaction when I had to talk in front of a big group. 

Actually, when I noticed how many people were listening to me, I thought my voice wouldn’t be strong enough. 

What happened next? I was blocked, and my words disappeared – in my native language. 

Although this happened in my native language, similar reasons led to its disappearance. 

If you’re already stressed out about public speaking, you’re likely to lose your words even more so in English. 

In my case, I had a mental overload when I started focusing on everyone around me. Instead, I should have focused on one person and tried to blank out the rest. And I could have practised more before the talk. Between you and me, I was lucky that my brain didn’t go into fight or flight mode. It means that I would have had a blackout. It can happen when you are very stressed and is a normal stress reaction of your brain.

If you are stressed about public speaking, your English level doesn’t matter. It is more the stress caused by pressure that influences your brain. 

Therefore, it would be interesting to look at the situations when your English disappears. 

Here are some questions to help you reflect and improve the situation. Please take a moment, answer the questions and take notes:

1. What happens in these situations?

2. Which words disappear?

Here, you could write down the words that disappear for a month. You could practice them in many different contexts. Maybe even record yourself with your mobile phone.  Over time, you’d gain stability and fluency.

3. How do you usually react when words disappear? 

4. Are you frustrated or angry with yourself?

These emotional states create even more pressure, like a chain reaction.

The consequence is that you don’t remember the word the next time you are in a similar situation.

Here, it would be interesting to take 10 minutes of your time and ask yourself the following questions:

• When was the last time you remembered the word easily?
• What happened?
• What kind of situation was it?
• What was the context? 
• Whom did you talk to?
• What kind of skills did you use?

Write down the answers to these questions. See which effect it has on you. Imagine you use the skills the next time when you are under pressure. What would happen? Instead, what should a situation when you speak under pressure look like?

If you’d like to work on this in a structured and practical way, you can find more about my Business English coaching for professionals here.

Want to know how to stay polite under pressure? Read on.

#3. How do I recover mid-sentence without embarrassment?

I have seen situations like this when the speaker lost the train of thought or when a few words were missing. 

What impressed me and seemed very professional was when the speaker took it easy and said that they lost their train of thought. They went back to the last bit they remembered talking about and then got back into the talk.

Losing your train of thought happens to everyone. What matters is how you deal with the situation. Another way is to actually gain some time to think. Words and expressions like:

Well, you know…

Let me see…

Let me think about it for a moment.

Let me put it this way.

Let me rephrase this.

Actually,

In fact,

What I’m trying to say…

These are all phrases and expressions that let you step back in your mind without anyone noticing.

Depending on the group size, setting, and communication partners, you can also say, for example: What do you call it when…?

Or you could ask for help directly without embarrassment. It is often more embarrassing to search for words and use a lot of” Um; Äh; Ehm, etc., " than to ask for help directly. 

Key takeaway

Forgetting simple words in meetings happens to all of us at some point. No matter how good your English is.

The most important things to remember are:

• Try not to focus on every single word you say
• Practice talking in a meeting – maybe record yourself.
• Write down the words that disappear and search for alternatives. 
• Learn some phrases to gain time to think in case you forget a word mid-sentence.

Considering these points should equip you well for your next meeting. 

I also recommend you analyse a situation in which you forgot simple words during a meeting, using the questions above. It’ll give you some important insights into potential stress-related issues in meetings. Working on them will also help avoid being at a loss for words. 

This is exactly the kind of situation I work on with professionals in my coaching.