You know your English is good. But something still feels off in international meetings.
Why does the same phrase land differently depending on who's in the room?
You are in a discussion with your international team. A colleague suggests postponing a topic to the next meeting.
You reply: "We must talk about it now."
Silence.
The discussion continues — but something shifted. You felt it.
This happens more often than people realise. And it's rarely about language level. It's about what your words signal to someone from a different cultural background.
In this post, I'll explain why it happens and what you can do about it.
#1. Why do people react differently to what I say in English compared to my native language?
There could be a few different reasons for it. Your cultural background works like a filter on how you perceive everything. It works like a filter on your perception. Education and cultural values create a different way of thinking.
When I used to work in Ireland, for example, I would meet up with some of my Irish colleagues after work at 6 pm, and I would be there 5 minutes early. But my colleagues were usually late. Not because they were impolite, but because it was normal for them to turn up 15 – 30 minutes late. The same applies to language.
When you say to your business partner: “That is difficult; we should do it another way.”Then it might be the way you would say it in your native language, German, for example. Because you don’t beat about the bush and just say things the way they are. It is normal for you.
But in some cultures, it could be a little direct, and they might even think you don't want to do business with them. Because that’s what they would read between the lines.
And they are educated not to be direct because it might provoke or upset others.
They don’t want to be responsible for that.
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#2. “How do I know if my communication style is inappropriate in international teams?”
You can tell it from the reactions you get. When your business partner asks you, “What do you mean by that?” “Could you clarify that for me?” or “Do I understand you correctly?”, something may be wrong with your communication style.
Another sign is when your business partner is getting more formal and polite. You could get the impression that there is a certain tension in the room. An example, therefore, is a request like: “Could you possibly ensure to deliver the goods by the end of next week?” Another example could be: “May I kindly ask you to ensure the delivery by the end of next week?”. You see very polite but formal language in both requests, with "Could you possibly" or "May I kindly ask."
It is also possible that your business partner makes some ironic comments when you have said something. And you are not sure what they mean by it. For example: “Well, it could be a lot worse…”; or “There’s nothing like a little diplomacy,” to get an idea of the tone and direction ironic comments could go. Of course, it depends on the situation, and there are many other ways to express irony.
When the atmosphere turns more negative, and you don’t get any positive feedback at all, there could be something wrong with your communication style, too. For example, when you lead the conversation like in an international team meeting.
You would most certainly hear comments such as “good thinking,” “very good idea,” “great approach,” and other positive feedback.
When there is none of it, it usually indicates that your communication style is inappropriate.
As cultural intelligence expert David Livermore points out, misunderstandings in multicultural teams often arise from differences in direct and indirect communication styles.
#3. “Should I adapt my communication style for different cultures – and how much?”
Adapting your communication style is certainly a good idea. But instead of adapting, I would rather suggest being aware of other communication styles and adjusting some elements.
For example, when you come from Germany and have a more direct communication style, you might want to try to use a more indirect communication style when you communicate with relationship-oriented cultures. These include, for example, China, Japan, India, Mexico, Brazil, Saudi Arabia, Thailand, the Philippines, etc. It means that you should avoid criticising people from these cultures directly or making them lose face in other ways of communication.
These could be situations in which they would have to give a negative reply because they are unable to do something. A German company used to work with a Chinese supplier. When the Chinese supplier delivered the wrong parts, the German company complained and wrote emails in a way like: “You did not deliver the correct items. This is not acceptable.”
The reaction was rather aggressive because the Chinese supplier lost face, which can cause a certain amount of aggression.
The email could have also been the following way: “Unfortunately, I need to inform you that we received article xyz. We ordered article byz. Could you make sure to send us these parts as soon as possible? We urgently need them to avoid a stoppage of our production line.”
This way, the supplier can solve the problem and save face. And the business relationship stays intact.
Takeaway
Using your natural communication style won’t work in international meetings because people from other cultures interpret it through their own cultural backgrounds. That means that something neutral to you could be impolite in another culture.
Therefore, be aware of different communication styles in international settings. Try to recognise when the atmosphere changes and gets a little tense or cold, for example. A lack of positive feedback to your contributions, sometimes silence, or a lot of critical questions could hint at it.
You don’t need to adapt your communication style totally to the other culture. But try to identify the most important aspects of your business partner's culture, such as face-saving. Try incorporating some of these aspects into your communication. You can also use this when there are multiple cultures in the room.
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